the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
