I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
