soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
