Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This is my gift to your gina
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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