eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
