Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Randomize
