Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
