no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
