who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize