Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
