Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize