how can u be prego again
Welp...herpes.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
