somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
