So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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