She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
