I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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