Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
