Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
