dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
only you would photoshop your dick
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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