Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
should my penis look like a turkey
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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