we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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