Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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