But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
