I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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