I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
