Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
