I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize