they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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