He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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