We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize