He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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