he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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