with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
tell me about the fingering
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