You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
