i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize