ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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