just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize