I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
As shirtless as possible
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
