I murdered the dance floor call the cops
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
