You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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