I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Randomize
