i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
