so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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