Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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