pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
