is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize