After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
