Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
