I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
