he puts the penis in happiness.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
