New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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