Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
