She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize