i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
