I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
