they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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