she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
