fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think people are normalizing furries
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
