I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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