Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
