I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
