So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
