I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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