WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
