If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
