Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
