In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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