mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
