Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
