as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just want to make out with him forever
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
