I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
