Buhtt sex?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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