I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
