DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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