i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
