I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
