So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
