I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
