Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
