hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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