Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I won't apologize to a one balled man
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
