Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
