5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
