what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
