i already hear my dad disowning me
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
