areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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