...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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