if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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