I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
