just come out here and I will go home with you...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
