Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
