dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
